It was 1984. The year the first Apple Mac went on sale; Wham had a hit with ‘Wake me up before you go’ and ‘bling’ was ‘in.’ And medallion man was everywhere.

It was also the year the French immunologist Luc Montagnier, first announced scientists had discovered the HIV virus.

I was nine. The first Sony CD players had just come into circulation...and I had one! I remember singing and dancing to Queen and ‘I want to be I want free.’ I loved that song! Freddie was my idol. The King of music, - or should I say Queen? To me, he was Freedom personified. An ‘outed’ gay man, wearing drag - a leather mini skirt and bright pink earrings - on the BBC!

It would be decades before HIV crashed into my world. It crashes into the world of everyone who has ever had a friend, relative or partner, suffering or dying from this disease.

In 2018 AIDS related illnesses killed 770,000 people, globally. But unlike other diseases like cancer, or heart disease, HIV and AIDS has an additional problem. Stigma. HIV remains the ‘shame and blame’ disease. The disease stereotyped as being caused by too much unprotected sex. A disease considered to be the result of irresponsibility and lust. The only disease some religious leaders say, is a punishment from God.

No wonder that Freddie Mercury carried the secret of his diagnosis, (in 1987), to his death bed. The man who sang to the world ‘I want to be free,’ was imprisoned in secrecy. His final announcment to the press in 1991 claimed he felt it was best to keep his health status private in order to ‘protect the privacy’ of people he cared about. It was only as he was dying he found the courage to release the news, ‘..the time has now come for my friends and fans around the world to know the truth...’

Over three decades later, people are still afraid of hearing the truth. And those suffering from HIV are still afraid of telling it. The stigma still stands.

In 2011 - exactly three decades after Freddie Mercury died, one of my closest friends told me he had HIV. He he expected me to end our relationship, once I knew. We cried together. Partly for him, and the rejection he feared would happen, and partly for all those others, we would never know about, who suffer in silence.

The truth is, HIV remains the ‘ugly duckling” of all illnesses. Those who have the virus and struggle to maintain their lives, rather than being heroes of their own story, are rejected as social pariah

The fear of social discrimination is also embedded in gay culture. Gay men can live for 20, 30 or more years and never feel free to open up about their health status.

This has to change.

By hiding in shame, the stigma gains power. Research shows that stigma is often a result of ignorance. Those have HIV even judge themselves; if they hadn’t have had sex, they tell themselves, they would never have contracted the virus.

To take the power out of the stigma we need to actively work to have a society where people are educated to understand how to prevent HIV and how to support those who have it.

Coming out as a gay person is not enough. We also need to ‘out’ HIV.

We need more people, like Arik Hartmann, who ‘outed’ his HIV health status in TED speech titled, ‘Our treatment has advanced. Why hasnt the stigma changed?’ His is a brave voice, among too many who choose to stay silent, probably due to the fear of repercussions.

Even now, I have friends who can’t be open about their HIV status. People with HIV still have more difficulties to finding work and keeping a partner. The social stigma correlates with high rates of depression and loneliness, and more suicides more than average.

Today is World AIDS Day, and it’s time to DO something.

It is time to take HIV and AIDS out of the closet and place it under the spotlight. If we each do our bit, we can change the way the world views HIV.

Here’s some suggestions...you may other ideas of your own.

If you know someone with HIV or AIDS, be accepting. It will matter more than you might ever know.

Work to build awareness. Have conversations about HIV with your family, friends and with people you know at work. Conversations in the community can lead to breakthroughs in understanding.
Support HIV and AIDS organizations like the WHO, ‘UNAIDS’ and local ones like‘Positive East’ (London UK). They need the funds and voluntary support. Join them,
Promote innovative approaches to safe sex; get informed about new initatives taking place. .

Let’s build a world where HIV is ‘outed;’ where stigma is a thing of the past, and where living authentically is possible, because acceptance is an action, not a word.

It’s World AIDS Day. Let’s work together to live HIV neutral. Lets work together to...